Battling Pornography

In Discipleship, Family by Walt Mueller0 Comments

Header image provided by SplitShire. This article was originally posted on CPYU.org on March 5, 2014

When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.Genesis 3:6 ESV
Over the course of the last couple of weeks I’ve had several people ask me this question: “What do think is the biggest challenge facing children and teens today?” That’s a tough question to answer. Without a doubt, today’s “biggest challenge” is nothing new. It’s a challenge shared by every human being who has drawn breath in our post-Genesis 3:6 world. It’s our brokenness and sin.

Still, the question asks about how our sin is nuanced in our culture, our times, and our lives. My answer, with little hesitation, has to be “pornography.” In an effort to help us help our kids navigate this horribly fallen expression of the good gift of our sexuality, we created a little primer on pornography that offers helpful definitions, insights, and steps to stem the tide. . . something we must do if we want to see humanity flourish in love, sex, marriage, and family. Pornography leaves an absolute mess in its wake.

Yesterday, I ran across this little list of facts from our friends at Fight the New Drug:

  • Porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, & Twitter combined. (HuffPost)
  • 35% of all internet downloads are porn-related. (WebRoot)
  • 34% of internet users have been exposed to unwanted porn via ads, pop-ups, etc. (WebRoot)
  • Porn increased marital infidelity by 300%. (WebRoot)
  • 30% of all data transferred across the internet is porn-related. (HuffPost)
  • Most common female role in porn is women in their 20’s portraying teenagers. (Jon Millward. In 2013, Millward conducted the largest personal research study on the Porn Industry in the U.S. He interviewed 10,000 porn stars about various aspects of the business.)
  • Child porn is one of the fastest growing online businesses. (IWF)
  • 624,000 child porn traders have been discovered online in the U.S. (Innocent Justice)
  • Approximately 55% of teen girls living on the streets have engaged in prostitution. (Enough.org)
  • Child porn is a $3 billion industry. (TopTenReviews)

EverydayPrayers-ScottySmith3And yesterday Scotty Smith’s Everyday Prayers included this powerful prayer for friends struggling with pornography. It’s a prayer that sadly, is timely in today’s world. . .

Jesus, my heart goes out today for friends and their spouses whose lives are being assaulted by the ravaging and enslaving grip of pornography.  I know of no other power sufficient for the task but the gospel. This is why I run to you today with grave concern, but also with great hope.

O Lord of resurrection and redemption, bring your mercy and might to bear in stunning fashion. Things impossible for us are more than possible for you. You have come to set captives free and to heal the brokenhearted. Pornography is creating an over abundance of both.

Jesus, for friends somewhere in the pornography continuum of titillation to addiction, we ask you to reveal yourself in the deepest place of their hearts. We ask for the holy gift of godly sorrow, not the short-lived remorse of worldly sorrow. For your non-condemning love has great power to deliver those who cry, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body which is subject to death?”

Lead them to that cry, Jesus. They need a lot more than embarrassment and fear, they need contrition and hope. Where pornography has desensitized our friends, re-sensitize them so they can see and feel the horror of their entrapment, and more so… much more so, the wonder of your deliverance.

For our friends who are married to someone in the talons of pornography, dear Jesus, theirs may be the greater pain and struggle. No one but you can help them with the anger, the disgust, the wound, the shame, and the mistrust that goes with this story. Help us walk with our friends who are right in the middle of this dark vortex. Show us how to validate their feelings without confirming hurt-driven conclusions. Bring patience and perspective, forbearance and faith.

Only you can rebuild the trust. Only you, Jesus, can bring a willingness to hope again. Only you can heal the places in our hearts which have suffered the greatest violation and harm. Absolutely no one understands all this like you, Jesus, and absolutely no one redeem these messes but you. So very Amen, we pray, in your great and glorious name.

Walt Mueller is the founder and President of the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding and has been working with young people and families for over 35 years. As a result of his work with CPYU, Walt has become an internationally-recognized speaker and author on contemporary youth culture. He has written extensively on youth culture and family issues and is the author of the following books: 99 Thoughts for Parents of Teenagers (Group Publishing, 2010); The Space Between: A Parent’s Guide to Teenage Development (Zondervan, 2009); Opie Doesn’t Live Here Anymore: Where Faith, Family, and Culture Collide (Standard Publishing, August 2007); Youth Culture 101 (Zondervan, June 2007); I Want to Talk With my Teen About Movies, Music & More (Standard Publishing, September 2006); Engaging The Soul of Youth Culture: Bridging Teen Worldviews To Christian Truth (InterVarsity Press, February 2006); and the critically acclaimed Gold Medallion Award winner, Understanding Today’s Youth Culture (Tyndale House, 1994).